Reading the SMH this morning I saw an ad from New Zealand Tourism advertising Central Park NZ.

Having never heard of Central Park NZ in my life I clicked on the ad thinking it was perhaps advertising backpackers accommodation at National Park. But alas no it is advertising “At the heart of New Zealand’s North Island lies Central Park where Legends are found, Life is rich and the Land is heart-stoppingly beautiful”

Sorry WTF? There is a Central Park in the middle of the North Island? Since when? The only area’s even close to this that I know of is the Central Plateau and Tongariro National Park.

Doing a google search for Central Park NZ doesn’t help either the top link is the New Zealand Tourism webpage and the second link is to the:

Projects – Central Park Restoration Plan – Wellington – New Zealand
Wellington City Council is planning to restore Brooklyn’s Central Park.

The fourth and fifth links are to (as expected) motels, one in Taumarunui which is in the Central North Island and the second is in Christchurch.

The Central Park NZ website further informs me that “Central Park NZ includes 7 diverse regions. Bay of Plenty, Coromandel, Hawke’s Bay, Rotorua, Ruapehu, Lake Taupo and Waitomo.”

Now this is just bizarre. Coromandel is in the Waikato not the Central North Island. I would also hardly call Bay of Plenty or Hawke’s Bay central either, both are east.

So where has all this madness come from? Well this news article seems to spread some light onto the situation:

Central Park NZ – New Zealands Newest Playground

Collectively known as Central Park NZ, seven regional tourism offices have combined forces to promote one of New Zealands most diverse and beautiful regions.

Prompted by Air New Zealand’s addition of affordable flights direct from Sydney to Rotorua, the regions of the central North Island are keen to promote this very special area to the Australian market.

So Air New Zealand is involved in all of this as a marketing ploy?

Quite frankly I am offended. The press release is correct it is a special area. And just as special about the area are the names of the places in the area. “Central Park” could be the name of any park, anywhere in the world. Whereas the traditional and correct names of the places in the area are very distinct and are a part of the identity of the area just as much any other aspect of it. The names have important meaning and background and it is a disgrace that the Tourism Board is ignoring this and attempting to rename the area.

Tongariro National Park is the oldest national park in New Zealand it has been acknowledged by UNESCO as one of the 25 mixed cultural and natural World Heritage Sites. Tongariro is a Maori word is uniquely New Zealand. Why is the Tourism Board not actively promoting this?

What about Ohakune, Whakapapa, Turoa, Turangi, Ngauruhoe, Waikato, Waiouru, Raetihi, Te Kuiti?

Does the Tourism Board not think that Maori words have as important identity to NZ? Or are they so hard for the rest of the world to understand that they must advertise in Simple English?

This is complete bullshit and the entire advertising campaign does more to damage the uniqueness of New Zealand then it does to advertise its diverse culture and history as well as its more modern tourist attractions.

It appears that Jetstar has hired the same public relations firm as the Iranian Government.

Over there they blame civil unrest on England and the media, and all the people protesting are really foreigners who are acting as spys.

Over here Jetstar is blaming all its issues on Air New Zealand and is claiming conspiracy.

from: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10582629

Jetstar chief executive Bruce Buchanan has accused Air New Zealand of attempting to “sabotage” his airline during its troubled launch in the domestic market.

…

Domestic travellers galore have complained about late and cancelled flights, and of being turned away for failing to check in 30 minutes before takeoff.

Claims of rude and unhelpful staff have flooded internet messageboards, and some have accused the airline of overbooking flights, leaving passengers stranded.

But Buchanan said many rumours about Jetstar, including those concerning poor pilots and old, unserviced planes, had been circulated by Air NZ.

So according to Buchanan complaining travellers are just Air NZ people in disguise, and there is really nothing wrong, Jetstar staff have not been rude, unhelpful, and people haven’t been turned away are all just rumours… umm… I smell fire… oh it looks like it is Jetstar’s pants that are on fire.

“We’ve experienced some tough competition before but we’ve never experienced someone trying to sabotage our business, or specifically go after us to try and discredit us.

“There is zero overbooking in the New Zealand market. It’s a complete fallacy that our competitors are spreading throughout the media.

“It wasn’t something we were prepared for and we are surprised at the dirty tricks they are playing. They have a dedicated team of individuals running a campaign to try and ruin our launch.”

Oh there is a dedicated team alright, but it isn’t Air NZ, it is your customers who are out against you after you stuffed up. For the best commentary check out the posts on Whale Oil: http://www.whaleoil.co.nz/category/industryterm/airline (and others you made need to search).

Air NZ respond:

“Surely, Mr Buchanan doesn’t expect Kiwis to believe that we are responsible for his Aussie airline’s woes? We didn’t dream up his draconian check-in rules, his schedule that often cannot be met, his endless schedule changes and his decision to operate ill-equipped aircraft to Queenstown that cannot achieve the same punctuality as Air NZ’s fleet.”

“If Fred Dagg was in his prime, I am sure he would be revelling in all the material Mr Buchanan and Jetstar are dishing up,” Parton said.

Just can’t get enough of that body paint… rumour has it that this is actually being used on flights.

Okay I am getting sick of having to explain what happened to just about everyone I see. So now I can just tell them to read my blog.

When I flew to Wellington last Sunday we had an engine failure. Well actually a complete APU failure. Luckly we were on Taxi and not in the air.

This is how it went down:
We were push backed from the terminal like normal. While the engines were being started they were doing the safety demonstrations. It was pretty obvious from the start that something was wrong with the engines because they were not making the normal engine starting noise. Halfway through the safety video all the power died in the aircraft. I mean the video stopped, the air con stopped, all the lights cut out, the engines stopped we came to a complete halt with no power or engines.

We sat for 20 mins parked sideways on the taxi way in front of the domestic terminal before we got pulled back to the terminal. All other aircraft had to detour around us by using the B runway. Thank god for that second runway at Auckland! Once we were pulled back they decided to jump start us off a ground power unit that they had to call over from the International Terminal on a truck!

We had no power, lights or anything for more then 40 minutes. Did I say we had no aircon. Also this was an Airbus A320 a medium range aircraft normally used on international routes. It has 170 seats and I can only assume that it was being used as a domestic aircraft because it was a long weekend and school holidays. We had about 40 kids on board which was fine for all of 5 mins and then the crying began! Once started again we made it safely and without incident to Wellington 50 minutes late. Fun!

If you haven’t heard about Air New Zealand’s new baggage charges you can read about them here:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10502213

The words money making rip off come to mind when reading about it. I am currently traveling on around 20 – 30 flights per year and I am never over my baggage weight allowance, in fact 90% of the time I am more then 50% under it. Although I do occasionally travel with two bags – always underweight.

I think Air New Zealand have figured out that not many people traveling domestically actually go over the baggage weight limit and have found another way to squeeze them for money. Only a few days ago it was announced that fairs would also increase.

To put it bluntly Air New Zealand want you to pay more for you ticket. Pay more for your bags. Provide less people behind the desk and expect more from you (ie you have to put your own bags on the baggage trolley).

What is next? A $1000 per ticket cost to fly to Wellington where you create your own ticket, act as your own security screener, fly the plane yourself, be baggage handler, air traffic controller, and ground crew. Customer Service yeah right!

Got back from Wellington last night where I had been for a training seminar.

Firstly when I arrived at the Hotel in Wellington I was advised that I had been upgraded to a room with a balcony. Wow. This didn’t mean much to me as I was merely staying overnight and when I arrived it was already dark but it was still cool to be upgraded. I also enjoyed having breakfast delivered to the room being more cheap then actually going to the onsite restaurant for breakfast, both time saving and affordable. Despite the price being $170/night I would recommend Wellington Holiday Inn they provide a fantastic service.

My second change came when I went to fly back to Auckland last night. The flight that I was booked on was cancelled. At this news I was expecting a painful wait for a spare seat on another flight back. But instead big ups to Air New Zealand who managed to squeeze me onto another flight that departed 30mins earlier then my canceled flight. That is some fantastic service.